Yesterday I heard a song (while I was driving my grandson’s truck to be serviced—can you believe I would do that?) that really spoke to my heart. Because it reminded me that it’s ok to just be quiet before God. Especially when we’re hurting. And that’s where I was yesterday morning. Trying to go through the motions of “quiet time” that sometimes becomes “busy time.” “Get it done and check it off the list” time. C’mon, you’ve been there once or twice. And I was just hurting and empty and confused.
You see, my mama is ready to die. She tells me she prays everyday that she will be freed from this physical body and its pain. She’s even been angry with God because “He’s not answering my prayers anymore.” And I, in my nurse self, am trying to figure out what to do.
The idea that I should just be quiet so God can hear my heart is Biblical. Because one of my favorite passages in Romans, chapter eight, includes verse 26. It says that the “groanings” of my spirit are made intelligible to God by his Holy Spirit.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26 ESV
The song goes on to say that even when we are singing praises to God in worship, no matter how fervently and passionately and sincerely we sing, that we should be asking God to, once again, hear our hearts. Because our mere words can never do justice to Him.
I usually write my prayers. But yesterday morning the written part was of the “help me, help me; thank you, thank you” variety. But, as always, in God’s awesome omnipresence, He was there, listening to my heart. And in His wisdom and mercy, He has provided an answer.
And I will praise Him for that, with my heart instead of my words.
parishkathy 
Kathy, sending much love to you and to your mom. Know my love and prayers. All of our days are in His hands; praying for wisdom, strength and grace for each moment.
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Hello Kathy,
I knew you when you lived in Noblesville. We were neighbors! Your mother sent a Christmas card and letter to my mother every year for many years. I was just with her and looking through her address book, I saw your mother’s address, looked it up, and found your blog. I’ve enjoyed reading some of your entries. I remember your mother’s very dark hair. I remember you had blonde hair. I spent the night with you when my mother went to the hospital and my brother was born. I was awake when my dad came home early in the morning. I saw him pull into our driveway from your bedroom window, got up, and went home! I’m saddened to hear of your mother’s pain. How blessed she is to have a daughter who is a nurse. I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen Holt Fulton
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So good to hear from you! Mom’s hair is white now and I’m going gray! I remember you too, a very pretty dark-haired girl! Thank you for looking me up! Mom will be excited to hear from you.
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