Dear Punxatawney Phil,
What is your problem? Above you see the view out my windows yesterday. Those aren’t diamonds hanging from those trees. And it’s even worse today. This whole seeing your shadow and six more weeks of winter thing is really getting old. I’ve been wondering. Why are you so scared of your shadow? Maybe you’re afraid Peter Pan will come and steal it and whisk you away to Never-Never Land? Well, come on, Peter, because then maybe we could get over this whole groundhog in charge of the weather scenario.
Maybe that’s it. A power thing. You like being the center of attention. After all, every February 2nd it is all about you. The world centers on your little hole and the vagaries of sunshine or no sunshine. It appears to me that even without the sun, all the cameras and lights would probably scare you back into the hole, timid soul that you are. Which brings us back to the whole courage thing. And being scared of a shadow. I can attest to the fact that Arkansas groundhogs are of a stronger mettle. I saw one cross the road last month on a sunny day!
And then one has to wonder about the twelve guys in top hats. Top hats? I Googled you, you know. Their positions read like something out of a fairy tale–Rainmaker, Iceman, Thunder Conductor, Big Chill, Sky Painter? They sound a bit grandiose and delusional. You need to be careful who you keep company with, you know. Especially with your timid personality.
Okay, so I’ve vented. Now just let me say that, since I was scheduled off work and didn’t have to make the hazardous trip to the hospital yesterday or today, snow (or ice) days can be enjoyable. They provide unexpected free time to read blogs and write letters to celebrities like you. Time to drink tea and read a book. Time to make cookies for my grandson. So, maybe I should also say thank you. But just remember, if the power lines go down and there’s no electricity, I am holding you (and all those strange guys in top hats) responsible.
So, have a good six week nap, Phil. I’m off to make tea.